That one place…the really dark place…where all the ugliness lives. All the hurt, all the sadness, all the horrible things I say to myself, all the loneliness…that’s the one place I can’t seem to let anyone else go. I can’t let them in…and I wish I could…because it gets really hard to be alone there
- No more Frost being silly with Frankie.
- No more Frost checking chicks out.
- No more Frost bantering with Korsak.
- No more Frost throwing up at the sight of a dead body.
- No more Frost.
I am not sure if I’ll ever come to terms with this. :’(
i don’t even watch the show and all these posts are making me sad :(
No one would notice or care if I were to simply disappear….
I can’t. I just…I’m so tired of feeling…all of this. Everything. I don’t want to anymore. Note to self; stop falling for people, you will NEVER have a chance.
It’s sad how you come to the conclusion that maybe this one will be different, that they won’t hurt you. So you knock your walls down, and show them who you are, and out of nowhere, they smash you, breaking you to a million pieces, and all you can do is put yourself back together, and hope it doesn’t happen again.
You have no idea how much it hurts to know that you’ll never be “mine”. I don’t think you get how much I love you. Maybe it doesn’t make sense. But I don’t care. It’s never been this easy with anyone. No one has ever just understood me the way you do. No one has been as understanding as you have. No one has been as patient as you have. No one else has the ability to make me feel okay like you do. And I know I’m not good enough for you, but that doesn’t make me want you any less.
And its not a one way street either. I don’t selfishly want you just because I think you’re good for me. You are amazing. And you deserve someone who realizes that. Someone who makes you realize that. You have no idea how badly I want to be the person who makes you smile. The one who holds you when you’re upset. I want to be there for all of your successes. To encourage you when you need it, and get out of your way when you don’t. To be behind you, next to you, or in front of you. Whatever you happen to need at the moment. I want to be there for your failures, to remind you that they don’t mean everything. That you’re more than your mistakes. I want to be the person you think of when you think of home. The one you want to come back to at the end of a long day. The person you can come to with anything and not worry about being judged. I want to be there for the little, mundane, ordinary moments too. Everything. All of it. All of you. Your past, your present, your future. I want to be there. I want to be part of it. Always. I’d give anything to be yours.
It kills me every time you talk about someone else. I don’t think anyone could love you the way I do. Maybe they can. I hope you find someone who makes you happy. Since apparently it won’t be me. I hope you find someone who realizes what they have in you and never lets you go. Someone who will fight like hell to keep you. Someone who never looks at anyone else once they have you. Someone who realizes what you put into relationships and how much of yourself you give to the people you care about. Don’t settle for anything less than that. I’m sitting here with tears freely rolling down my face. I’m letting myself just feel the hurt. Its not something I do often, but….not much hurts as much as this does. I’d never be able to say any of this to you. I’m too scared. I know you don’t feel the same way back. I think what kills me the most is that maybe you could have. Maybe if I were different you could have. Maybe if I were prettier you could have. Please know that if I could change for you I would. I wish it were that simple. I’d change so much for you…..